There are quite a few important points to think about with regard to surrogacy before making the decision that will change your life.
Social surrogacy and no contract surrogacy are on the rise, there are unfortunately some people who see carrying a child for someone as a money spinner rather than the true gift of a child's life to a couple who cannot conceive, let's start from the beginning...
What is surrogacy?
Surrogacy is the term used when a woman carries and gives birth to a child for a couple who want to have a baby. When the baby is born it is taken from the surrogate to be raised by the 'parents'. It is recommended that anyone wanting to proceed with surrogacy seeks legal advise before doing so to ensure there are no complications through the pregnancy and after the birth.
How does it work?
Full surrogacy (also known as Host or Gestational) can be completed in a few ways
- When the egg and sperm of the intended parents is implanted into the surrogate, leaving the intended parents genetically related and the surrogate unrelated.
- When a donated egg is fertilised with the fathers sperm.
- A donation of eggs and sperm are used to create an embryo
Part surrogacy (also known as traditional) is the fertilisation of the surrogates egg with the intended fathers sperm.
Many people are not aware of this but you cannot pay for a surrogate in the UK. As an intended parent you will be responsible for any costs incurred during the pregnancy e.g travel, health care, loss of earnings and all the essential baby clothing and accessories but you cannot offer any sum of money to gain a surrogate.
Finding the right surrogate for you
Once you have discussed all of the elements of surrogacy with your partner and have decided this is what you want it is recommended to book a consultation with a fertility clinic/specialist. You will talk through all scenarios and circumstances of the treatment then you need to find someone willing to be your surrogate. The clinic is not allowed to do this for you.
Things to consider when choosing someone to be your surrogate are
- That they are capable of of a healthy pregnancy.
- That you, your partner and your family all get along with your surrogate, they will be with you constantly over the next 9 months and beyond.
- Are they an age you are comfortable with?
- Do you have similar interests to your chosen surrogate?
- Do they have any children of their own?
- What are their reasons for wanting to be your surrogate?
As women become more career focused and appearance driven surrogacy has risen dramatically. Women no longer want to sacrifice their work to raise a family or to 'get fat.'
Read the article below to find out more.
Legal points to consider
The final point that must be exaggerated is that you trust your chosen surrogate. If they change their mind and want to keep their child they do have a legal right to do so even if the child is not genetically related to them. You must trust each other and be sure that you know everything will go to plan. You can become the child's legal parent by adopting or applying for a parental order after the birth.
Share your thoughts with the Direct2Mum community below