Adoption is an adult becoming the legal parent of a child they're not blood related too. Their are many reasons this may become an option for adults including infertility, same sex relationships, death of a biological parent or simply to change the life of a child with no parents.
By making the decision to adopt a child you are changing their life and your own forever.
How do I adopt?
You can apply to adopt a child through your local council or companies that specialise in finding children a stable home, Links are provided below as an example
You will be given all the information you will need about the procedure and the criteria you will need to meet before all of the necessary checks and assessments take place.
When the assessments begin you will be visited by social workers as well for the self evaluation tests. This should take about 2 months.
After the assessments you will begin training that can take approximately 4 months.
Once you are approved as someone who can adopt you then need to find the right child for your family, there isn't a time frame that can be given for this.
When you have found the child you would like to adopt they must live with you for ten weeks before an application can go to court.
Hurdles faced through adoption
When your child reaches an age where they're old enough to understand that they were adopted (if you have chosen to tell them) they may start to ask questions about their birth parents which can lead to feelings of resentment, abandonment, grief and loss. The adoptee might also suffer with self esteem issues.
It is also a common problem that the child feels guilty to their adoptive parents if they start to look for their birth parents whether it is because they want to get to know them or they want to know about their history.
Hiding the truth
Although some people choose not to tell their adopted child the truth about the circumstances, if it does become known when they are old enough to understand it can lead to a build up of anger that can affect the parent-child relationship negatively. It is a big secret to keep and the fear of someone outside of the family telling them the truth is something else to consider.
When parents have been asked why they didn't tell the truth to their adopted child they have admitted it was out of fear of losing the child but if the child finds out anyway when they're older, every one suffers.It can lead to a break down in trust and damage to self esteem. If you're considering adopting you really need to take all of this into consideration, honesty is the best policy.
Back to the positives
Although there are many factors to consider when adopting a child the main thing to remember is that you are changing a child's life. You are taking them away from negative things they may have seen or experienced and helping them to rebuild there life. You are becoming a parent who will deal with all of the ups and downs that parenting will bring. Even if they decide to research there past when they're old enough to make that decision for themselves you will always be the one who raised them to be the person they are.
If you would like to read of other parents experiences with adoption follow the link below.
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